Absolutely Worthless 2

It’s Monday morning, 1 August, and our two ex-Bernistes are talking on the phone.

So.  You still thinking about leaving?  Got your tickets and all that?

Oh yeah.  I’m leaving, that’s for sure.  As for ‘the tickets’, I guess you’re talking about round trip and all that.  This isn’t a vacation, you know.

Whoa, man!  You’re really serious?  One way?  You’re really going to just pack up and leave?  I mean, yeah, you’ve got family over there and all, but what’re going to do?  You’re sure they’re going to welcome you with open arms and all that?  I mean Italy isn’t in great shape right now …

Look.  Sorry to cut you off, but financial security, right now, is the least of my worries.  I know the EU’s fucked up, but Sicily is kind of different.  I know, I know, it’s technically part of Italy and all, but people there are somehow kind of different, are kind of … I don’t want to say ‘indifferent’ to the EU, but kind of aware of the trap they find themselves in.  I mean, it’s an island, man, it’s not really autonomous, but they have a sense of history, and …

Oh, man!  Dream on!  You think everything’s going to change just because you live somewhere else?  Get real!  You really think Sicilians are any different from anyone else?  Just because they’re Sicilian and live on island?  Sometimes I wonder about you, you know, taking the easy way out, as if that’s somehow some sort of protest statement or whatever.  I mean, what’s that going to change here?  I mean, granted, Bernie betrayed us.  I agree with that.  We were fools to believe that some guy who simply said he was a socialist, was a real socialist.  I get it.  Now that I’ve had time to think about it and look at how he voted on a lot of stuff.  Thanks for that.  But to leave, simply because you’re pissed?

Look.  I’m not leaving tomorrow.  No way could I do that.  I’m going to stay and vote.  Definitely for Stein.  But the lesser of two evils thing is a red herring.  It’s a kind of psychological kettling.  A kind of illusory free speech.  Did you see the article on CommonDreams?  There’s old Bernie, claiming that Trump is the most dangerous candidate for president in history!  What has Trump done other than declare bankruptcy a few times?  And what has Clinton done throughout her entire political history?  Aside from having a vagina, she could just as well be Dick Cheney!  Or Rumsfeld, or Bush, or Kissinger, or that shape-shifter Obama!  Or any of the other war criminals that have ruined this country.  Aw, man, I really would like to leave tomorrow!  But, you know, I still have this old-fashioned sense of civic duty.  Even though I know it’s a charade …

Yeah, but what about The Revolution, you know, what Bernie was talking about?  He even said it wasn’t all about him, that it was up to us to keep going, and …

Right!  And vote for that bitch just to keep Trump out of the White House?  That’s a revolution?  How many times do I have to remind …

Okay, okay.  I get it.  But Trump?  I mean …

I know, I know.  But I just told you, I’m not voting Trump.  And I refuse to vote for another Clinton.  They’re nothing but rip-off artists, and good ones, I have to admit.  But, no way!  I couldn’t hold my nose tight enough to vote that way.  Besides, it probably won’t make any difference, anyway.  A friend of mine emailed me last night saying that even if Stein were elected, she’d probably have an accident even before she took the oath of office, and that he’d rather she were alive somewhere, doing some sort of good, than dead.

Whoa!  You’re going a little far with all that!  I mean, come on, do you really think …

Yes and no.  It doesn’t really matter what I ‘think’, you know?  I just find it curious that every time someone makes a move to calm things down a bit, to try and see someone else’s point of view, for whatever reasons, they get blown away, or totally relegated to the sidelines.  Look at what they did to the 52% who voted for the Brexit!  Claimed they were fascists and whatnot, when all they wanted was to get out from under the EU’s diktat.  Who knows what will happen over there, but for me, the Brexit is a good sign.  At any rate, …

Wait a minute!  What does the Brexit have to do with your going to Sicily?  Or with Bernie?  

Well, I’m not really sure, but I’ve got a feeling …

Yeah.  You’ve got a feeling about what?

Yeah.  No.  I mean …

Yeah?

I mean, I’ve had a Lennon earworm in my head for a few days now.  Just came out of nowhere.  And I keep hearing lines from some of his songs.  Christ!  I haven’t listened to Lennon in years!  But just then, when I said, “I’ve got a feeling”, I could hear that song, and that made me think of “Give Peace a Chance”, and …

Hey!  Are you okay?  It’s Monday morning!  You’re not, like, goofed out, or anything?  I mean, you’re talking like you’ve …

Nah.  Just saying, just telling you what’s going on.  It’s called “sharing”, man.  Like the Bobos like to say.  Except when they say it …

Okay.  Okay.  I think we’re getting off the subject here.  Plus, I’ve got a toll booth coming up, and the PassFast lane is closed for some reason …

You mean you’re driving and talking to me on your cell phone?  I thought that was …

Not to worry.  It’s my car phone.  It’s hands-free.  I just push a button and say “Call so and so” and it calls you.  No different than listening to the radio.  Plus, for the first year, the service is free!  It’s pretty cool, actually.

Yeah,  Okay.  Talk about getting off the subject.

Well, don’t worry.  We’ve got time to talk.  There’s a pretty good sized t-jam forming.  Everyone’s trying to cut in … aw fuck you, asshole!  No, not you, but the guy who just tried to …

Okay!  Settle down.  You’re in a traffic jam.  You can’t go anywhere.  It’s called commuting.  We were talking about Bernie and the Brexit, remember?

Yeah, vaguely.  There’s this really good looking chick giving me the finger, but she’s smiling, kind of …

Look.  Call me back when you have the time to talk, when some ‘chick’, as you call her, is not giving you some sort of suggestive finger, okay?  

Hey!  I was just ‘sharing’, okay?

Seriously.  Call me later.  Maybe we can get together for a beer..

Uh, yeah, sure.  I can do that.  Say, around eight?

That’s not too late for you?  I mean, your family and all …

Hey, I hardly ever get home for dinner.  Juana makes stuff for the kids, sometimes something for us …

Okay.  I get it.  See you at the usual place.

He hangs up, stares out the two tall windows opposite his desk at the beginnings of another really hot day.

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